37-Joe

The world was saturated and glowing in a light that was from a dream as Joe followed Crystal up the steps to her front door. The rain was again just a pitter-patter of scattered drops that fell pleasantly into puddles all around them.

Joe waited while she unlocked the door and then followed her in. She shut the door behind him and inside the place was cluttered but cozy. Her mom was working late, of course, an evening shift, and Joe nodded, breathed, and walked atop the thick carpet of the living room, following Crystal down the hallway to where she stopped by the dryer.

“At least put your shirt in there for a while,” she said. “It’s soaked all the way through.”

Joe obliged without any thought, like he was in a dream anyway, so none of this mattered. He peeled off his sopping T-shirt and threw it into the dryer.

Crystal followed suit with no hesitation at all, just murmuring, “I think we know each other well enough.” Her shirt came up and off quickly, as Joe stood quietly buzzed. She tossed her shirt in the dryer atop his, shut the door, turned the knob and hit the start button. It started tumbling noisily and Joe watched her wearing only jeans and a bra as she skirted past and walked briskly away from him, down the hall and into her room.

She’d said not a word, but Joe followed her anyway, acutely aware that it would be impossible not to after what he’d just glimpsed. Each step he took was airy and weightless and upon entering her room he saw that she was just standing there in the middle of the room as though she’d expected him to come right on in.

“Well…what should we do while we’re waiting?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Joe answered, but by then they stood face to face, their eye contact never once failing, and not a second after he said it their arms went around one another, it all happening quickly and smoothly. During what ensued he thought at times quite sure that she was the aggressor, but then he realized that no, no, it was actually him, he was the aggressor. It was both of them, if that were possible, their passion fueled by many things, cold rain, uncertainty, and their bare torsos among them.

Her hands felt along his stomach and his chest, prompting him to do the same, exploring along her bra line and her cups before going for the clasp on the other side. It unhooked and fell to the floor and underneath was unbelievable—smooth, enrapturing, and even bigger and better than he could have imagined. They fell backward together on her bed, Crystal urging this along with a gentle push, and as she climbed on top of him he felt her long hair brushing along his bare chest. That led to the next bit, and he tensed, and his entire body froze as he felt his belt being undone and his fly unzipped. Then he felt her hands down there and he was lost in a different world, one that he never wished to come back from, and when he thought it couldn’t get any better her hands were replaced by her lips and it did get better. He couldn’t even last but a few seconds into it, and then he was done, with a short accompanying moan.

His body fell calm, the tension releasing, and lying there in bed he felt like a gradually deflating balloon. Then he felt her long black hair trailing up along his body again and her head came to a rest on his chest.

“Did you like that?” she asked softly.

“Yes,” he answered, still trying to catch his breath.

“Good.”

He snapped right into action. He was naturally curious and eager to do so, and he sensed that she wanted him to. So, he climbed out from under her while at the same time turning her body around. He grasped the waistline of her jeans and the panties underneath and pulled them down. She arched her body up to assist him in this and watching this movement sent flutters all through him.

He’d tried this once before and genuinely had no idea what he was doing, but that never before stopped him from trying something new. He used his fingers and his tongue, and he thought he did it pretty good, at least he thought sure it was better than last time he’d tried it. Throughout most of it her body was incredibly tense, her breath caught, and then sometimes she released it and made noises like she enjoyed it, at times like she really enjoyed it. After several minutes she was panting heavily and when Joe moved up to her she embraced him eagerly and lay against him as he stretched out on her bed. They were quiet for a few minutes, her breathing slowly changing from deep gasps to sleepy and satisfied sighing, her head on the side of his chest, and his arm wrapped around her.

“Joe,” she whispered. “Oh, Joe.”

“Yeah?”

“What is it about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Not even an hour ago I called you an asshole, and sorry, but I totally meant it. And now…here we are.” She moaned. “God, why am I so attracted to you?”

“I don’t know. I said I was sorry about everything.”

“You can be so sweet when you want to be. Like you are now.” She sighed deeply, like she didn’t know what to make of it.

“You’re sweet, also, Crystal. And I’m attracted to you, too. I mean…obviously.”

She just sighed again, in the same skeptical way.

They were quiet for a few more minutes as Joe gently ran his fingers through her hair. Finally, she moaned as though in frustration and leaned up to look at him.

“What?” Joe asked.

“So, what is your deal, Joe? What are you all about? Tell me, please. Be genuine. Let’s have a sober conversation, for once.”

“What do you mean? What do you want to know?”

“What are you all about? All I know about you is that you like to drink and smoke pot and occasionally make out, and today I learned that you also like to stand out in the rain with flowers for a girl who never shows up. I mean, is that what you do? Is that the scoop on Joe?”

His free hand went to his face. “God, I had forgotten about it. Please don’t remind me. I’m already trying to forget about it.”

“Who is she, by the way? You have to tell me, Joe. Just tell me.”

He hesitated just a moment before saying, “Katherine Lisi.”

“Katherine Lisi?” she asked.

“Yeah. What? You don’t like her?”

“I have no idea who that is. What year is she?”

“Never mind. Let’s not talk about her.”

“No chance. She knew you were out there and she didn’t even come out? What a bitch.”

“I guess so. I don’t even know what happened, really.”

“You looked awful at school. God, I thought someone had died.”

“I feel better now.”

“I thought you might.”

The arm he had around her tightened as he squeezed her affectionately.

“Do you still like her? After she didn’t meet you?”

“I really don’t know. I can’t process everything that’s happening. But I don’t want to talk about her. I really like just lying here with you right now. It feels right, it feels so comfortable, just being here with you now. So I want to talk about you. Tell me about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“The same thing you asked me. What are you all about? The only thing I know about you is that you like to party.”

She shrugged. “What you see is what you get. And I do like to party, because, well, why the hell not? This is the best time to let loose, right? This isn’t going to last forever, you know.”

“What’s not going to last forever?”

“This freedom we have to party like we do, and this total lack of responsibility. In just a year, we’ll have to think about bills and rent, college, loans, and…real life. That kind of stuff.”

“God, you’re scaring me.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do after all this?”

“After all what? After high school?”

“Yeah.”

“Well…I’m trying to go to college.”

“Which one?”

“Fuck…whichever one will take me.”

She smiled.

“How about you?”

“I’m going to nursing school. I’ve already decided.”

“Wow. Cool. Good for you.”

“Thanks. I’m going into it, just like my mom did once upon a time. I already know a lot about it. I’ve already like…studied up on it. It’s not a bad gig. You can live anywhere you want, basically. Every city needs hospitals, after all. I’m going to be good at it too. I’m not squeamish at all, and, believe it or not after all the times you’ve seen me wasted, I’m actually quite steady. I’ve got good hands.”

“No argument here.”

She laughed while slapping him.

“I envy you, though. You have a path set, you have a plan, whereas I…I just have no freakin’ clue what I’m going to be doing.”

“Aren’t you interested in anything? In school, or otherwise?”

“No... I’m not. I’m really not. I truly just have no clue what I want to do. I’m not really interested in anything, and I never have been. Most kids dream of growing up to be an astronaut or a marine biologist or something like that. But I’ve got nothing. I’ve never had anything, there’s nothing I’ve ever aspired to be. Is that…a big problem?”

She shook her head. “No. I think most people are just like you. So don’t worry about it, dude. You’ll figure it out. In the meantime, you could tag along with me, if you like. Work in my hospital. At the snack bar or something.”

Joe laughed. “Yeah, we can go get drinks after your shift.”

She laughed.

Joe continued. “That actually sounds okay. Well…except for the snack bar part. Screw that, I’ll bartend or something.”

She smiled. “Enough of the real world stuff. What else do you like to do? I mean like, hobbies?”

“Well, you know I like music, but…holy shit, I guess not as much as you do,” Joe said, while looking around her room. He observed more closely what he’d only detected peripherally while walking in—the posters covering most of the wall space were primarily of bands, and one corner of her room was occupied by tall stacks of CDs and cassette tapes. They looked to be organized in some kind of messy and complicated way.

She smiled. “Yes. Music is my passion.”

Joe peered a little closer yet. The soft daylight coming in through the blinds gave just enough light to glimpse everything, and within just a few seconds Joe was so overcome by the full onslaught of Crystal and everything she was all about. He felt bad how he’d so casually been dismissing her, and now suddenly he could see her personality clearly and unfiltered. It was every bit as raw and impassioned as anyone else’s, and he knew deep down that she had yearned for him all this time, perhaps in the same way or to much the same degree he’d yearned for another. Life wasn’t fair, he thought, while his eyes scanned over her posters.

He saw a lot of Perry Farrell and Dave Navarro, as they were obviously some of her biggest heroes. He also saw Anthony Kiedis and Flea in a similarly virile style. Next to her closet was a door-sized mirror with a lot of stickers along the frame. Among these he saw the Chili Peppers’ logo, and a Beastie Boys sticker written in the style of Check Your Head. He also saw Minor Threat and Bad Brains stickers, both bands that were absolutely sacred, especially for someone from the D.C. area.

“Goddamn, your room is cool,” Joe muttered, in genuine awe.

“Thanks,” Crystal replied. He could sense her smiling as she said it.

“You know I love the Chili Peppers, but…who would you say is your number one?”

She sighed, like that wouldn’t be an easy question to answer.

“Well, it was Janes Addiction that started me off. They pretty much changed my life. So…I’d have to go with them. But after that…I don’t know…Nine Inch Nails, Violent Femmes, Bad Religion…”

“Were you into Nirvana and all that?”

“Of course. But I’m so out on alternative rock now. These days it pretty much sucks.”

“I’d love to look at your collection. You probably have a ton of stuff I’ve never even heard of.”

“I’m sure I do. I’ll hook you up.”

“Who are you into now?”

“Oh my God, do you know the Pixies? Have you ever heard of them?”

“No.”

She sighed again. “I hadn’t either, until recently. But they have a bunch of albums. I’m obsessed.”

“How did you hear about them?”

She shrugged. “You got to turn off the radio, dude. Do that first. That is step number one. Then, you start talking to people.”

“Who?”

“Anyone, really. There’s also the internet. Do you know about it?”

“Oh, I think I’ve heard about that,” Joe said, with sudden interest.

“Yeah? What’d you hear?”

“Trey told me the other day he was on his computer, and that he successfully tapped into the internet.”

“What did he see?”

“Nothing, really. He just read a bunch of text. Some guy was convinced that Jerry Garcia is actually an alien, or something like that. It was real weird. He said it didn’t make much sense.”

“Oh. Do you have an email address, Joe?”

“Yeah, I think I do. I can’t remember what it is, though.”

“Well, if you do remember it, let me know. I can send you some cool stuff I found about the music scene, and some of the new bands out there.”

“Awesome! I’ll get it to you. I know I’ve tried email before, I just can’t remember how I did it. I need to write down each step, you know?”

“I can probably help you figure it out, if you’d like.”

“You got to hook me up, girl.”

“I will.” She smiled, and then looked at him to be kissed. Joe did.

A while later, Joe noticed the time on her digital alarm clock on her nightstand. “I really should go,” he said.

She nodded. “Okay.”

He stood up fully, and tightened his belt, while she fixed all her clothes as well. They walked together to the dryer.

“Oh my God, that feels incredible,” he said joyously, while putting on his shirt, still hot from the dryer.

She smiled and put on hers. “Aren’t you glad you came in?” she asked.

Joe chuckled while they walked toward the front door. He turned to her. “You know, I don’t think I even have your number.”

She smiled and stopped in the kitchen. Then she came back with a memo pad and a pen. She scrawled down her number and gave it to him.

“What’s yours?” she asked.

Joe told her as she wrote it down.

“You know, you don’t have to leave yet. My mom doesn’t get home until like, ten, probably.”

“Thanks, but…I should.”

“Okay.”

They hugged, a long and slow one, while standing beside the door. It was like she didn’t want to let him go. He kissed her a few times during it.

“I’ll call you,” he said, opening the door.

She smiled and waved. “Bye.”

He stepped out into the world that was still quite saturated and the light still contained that eerie dreamlike quality. He walked quickly down the steps and across her driveway, not taking much care to avoid puddles, and then got in his car. He waved again while backing out, and then drove slowly away.

His car stopped at an intersection where there was a stop sign. No one was coming from any direction, and nobody was behind him, either. So, he remained there idling for a while, in total disbelief.

Finally, he saw a car approaching in his rearview mirror. He snapped out of it and put on his turn signal.

Then he drove off.